Today was an awesome day. One of those Oprah “Ah Hah” kinda days. Actually it was Oprah herself that lead me to my new awakening. I had the chance to go to her “The Life You Want” tour and it was ……PHENOMENAL.
The day started with an exercise lead by Oprah herself.
Close your eyes she said. Picture the person you love the most. See their face. Let the warmth of your love for them wash over you.
Now, what do you wish for them? What kind of life do you want for them? What kind of job do you want them to have? Are they a doctor, lawyer, artist, or does it even matter? What do they do on weekends? What kind of freedoms do they enjoy? How are they spiritually? How about their relationships? Are they married, have kids, enjoy lunch with best friends? Are they happy?
Now of course, me being your mother, I immediately thought of you. I envisioned you standing tall and proud. I wished nothing but love, happiness, friendship and endless dreams for you my dear. I imagined a life where you were well respected, and yet courageous enough to be your authentic self.
I envisioned a life of freedom for you. Freedom to choose your career, your partner, and your goals. You would be brave enough to spend your time doing what you loved and being who you were meant to be all the while knowing that ……..YOU ARE ENOUGH.
This son is what I envisioned for the person I loved the most………..YOU.
But here is where Oprah pulled her “Ah Hah” on me. As I started to rejoice in thinking how amazing your life will be, she then asked, why is the person you love the most not yourself?
And that’s when it hit me. My heart’s desires were for you to lead the life that I wanted. Yet, I was not courageous enough to claim them for myself. For some reason I believed that to live a life that I described for you was not attainable by me. Never did I imagine you being scared to show the world who you really were. Never did I imagine you being held down by society’s standards for you. And at no point did I think you would feel like you were not good enough.
It was too hard to imagine loving myself more than anyone else, especially you?
But in fact, the true question really is why did I not love myself more than anyone else, including you?
And that son, was the start of my awakening. Now that we know the root of the problem, let the journey begin.