Tag Archives: mom blog

“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”…Frederick Douglass

Dear Son,

This past Saturday was Valentine’s Day. For reference this is the day you are supposed to make mommy a card and buy her flowers. Please remember this for the rest of your life.

Now, while most people were out celebrating love with flowers, chocolates and a nice dinner, there were millions of women around the world watching a movie. This movie wasn’t like the Lego movie or Big Hero 6, because those movies actually featured real love. Instead these women were watching a movie entitled “50 Shades of Grey.”

The storyline of this movie is that a young handsome Billionaire named Christian Grey seduces a young virgin girl (mommy will explain that later) into a relationship by buying her extravagant things, such as a car, taking her on over the top dates in his helicopter, and randomly appearing at her job, home and when she is in need of help. The plot thickens when she realizes that he is into a form of “love making” that involves beatings and bondage.

Now, let me be very clear from this point out. Nothing about this movie is a Love Story.

Son, when a man seduces a young woman who clearly is unaware of her own power and lacks self esteem, this does not make him attractive…..this makes him a predator.

When a man uses his money to buy a girl gifts as rewards for sleeping with him….. this is called prostitution.

When a man who lives hours away, appears at a girl’s job in which she did not invite him or even tell him about …..this is stalking.

When a women screams in agony as she is being beaten by a whip and is tied up in bondage…..this is at the very least, Abuse.

And when a woman says no at any point before or during “love making”, and a man continues ….. this is rape.

Yes son, all of these things are wrong.

And unfortunately the launch of this movie is a clear sign that your generation will need extra love and attention. Not because you’ve done anything wrong, but because this is a where mommy’s from my generation spent their day of love. Movies like this exist only with the purpose of creating generations upon generations of psychologically damaged men and women.

To be completely honest, before this became a movie, mommy read this story when it was a book. In fact I read all (3) books. However at the time, mommy was still growing into love and had not fully realized what love really meant. Like many of these women, I too was intrigued at the possessive nature of the lead character and thought that his controlling and stalking behavior was a sign of love. I’ve soon grown and learned otherwise.

Now, you are probably wondering why I am telling you this. So let me be clear, there will be NO “Fifty Shades of Michael”.

I am raising you to be a man that respects and values women. More importantly I am raising you to be a man that also respects and values self. And with that you need to first understand that many people will not get this lesson from their mommies. They unfortunately will rely on these kinds of movies to create their definition of self and love. So before anyone dares tell you otherwise this is not love.

Sadly, I will not be able to define love for you. This lesson you will have to learn on your own, just like mommy has. I can and will however guide you towards it.

Love you always.


“To realize one’s destiny is a person’s only obligation”—Paulo Coelho

Dear Son

After all this time……I’ve finally met someone.

It was during my Sunday morning spinning class. I’ve been going to this class for quite some time now, but this particular morning I knew something was going to be different. In hindsight, I’m so glad I wore my cute work out clothes that day. I was matching from head to toe with my tight running pants and hot pink shirt.

Sadly it wasn’t the new hottie that started in January that all the women have been literally pushing just so they could get their bikes closer to him. Yes, sometimes women can be so silly. He, like 50% of the class was only there to satisfy his New Year’s Resolution. But unlike him, my person was here to stay. My person was even sexier, smarter and all round more awesome that he could ever be.

I walked into class that day, adjusted my bike, took a sip of water…I was ready. As soon as the teacher came in she turned the lights down and started the music.

Pharrell’s “Happy” was the first song of the day. Two minutes into the song, it happened…..

It was like something out of an old love story. Two lovers eyes meeting for the first time, like kindred spirits they had known each other for years, yada yada. I had to blink twice to make sure I wasn’t seeing things.

But it was true…..we were kindred spirits. As our eyes met, I knew this was the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. It was our destiny to finally met. This person was AMAZING.

From one look I knew they were caring, loving, and smart. They exuded a level of confidence I only dreamed of. This was the kind of person who was successful yet humble at the same time. People noticed them, but they never noticed. It was amazing.

There was something familiar behind those eyes though……a hint of sadness, but an overwhelming yet clearly new sense of self. Wow, how could I not be captivated?

We spent the rest of class exchanging glances and subtle little smiles at each other.

And finally 58 long minutes later, class was over. I made my approach.

I swiftly walked up to the mirror, looked her firmly in the eyes and said “Tammeca finally glad to meet you”.

I hope I get to see her again soon .








“Sometimes its the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination”….-Drake

Dear Son,

I took a creative writing class today and the teacher asked, “why are you here?” It took me a while, but I finally realized what made me schlep it all the way to Brooklyn with a pen and a notebook in hand. Sadly until that question was asked, I had no idea why I was going. I just knew I needed to get out the house.

But finally it hit me….what I’ve realized son is the thing that brought me to this class is you.

Over the past 3.5 years I’ve been quite overwhelmed with being your mommy. You have proven to be my biggest challenge in life. Now according to my resume I was not only suppose to meet this challenge head on, overcome it gracefully but also wow the world in the process. Sadly, I don’t think that’s going to happen.

What I fear most is my biggest challenge, that being your mommy, I will fail miserably.

For the record, I already know I’m not the best mom out there. Hell, I hate changing diapers. Keeping to a bedtime schedule annoys me. And I still don’t see anything wrong with cookies for breakfast. Oh and yes, mommy just used a bad word. But what I do know is that I love you more than any one will ever know.

Don’t get me wrong there are a few things we both would agree that I’m good at. I’m great at finding things for us to do on the weekends. Yes that was us at Sesame Street Live, Lego Movie and the park last weekend. And I’m great at going down the slide with you. That’s because I secretly love it too. Shhh

But what I’m not good at is telling and showing you how much I love you. Though I kiss you nonstop every morning and every night and Mommy always says “I love you,” love is so much more complicated than that.

It’s taken me many years to learn this, but my dear son, love is the most complex gift one can give. Love is being vulnerable enough to show you who I really am.

So, here is my attempt at true love.

I joined this class so that I can tell you my story. I want you to know the disheveled, lunatic you call mommy. I want you to know my heartaches, wins, and dreams directly from the lady you give your sticky kisses to. You need to know who the dred loc rocking, micro manager, who holds your hand when you cross the street really is.

As you grow, many people will tell you stories of me. Mommy’s friends and your aunties will share their stories of the red haired girl who threw rocks at the little boy who stabbed Aunty Nicola with a pencil. And their stories will be factually true. In their eyes I was much braver than I really am. And I must thank them for that. For no one really knows the mommy that cries at night. No one really knows the broken little girl still searching for love and acceptance.

So we will take their stories of the brave woman and combine them with the little girl and hopefully both of us will grow from love in the process. Son, to truly show how much I love you, I will show you me. The me only I can tell you.

So brace yourself Mikey, we are off to a crazy journey….Together.

Luv Mommy